Transfer time.
I requested a transfer AND interviewed in a neighboring county. I even had an in (maybe) with a Teacher of the Year at a pretty good school that was about 15 mins from my house and brand new. I was hopeful but never too excited. May 5th is the last day to hear back and my district doesn't prioritize updating parts of their webpage so no job updates. Meanwhile, I know where I stand with the other county because they update their job posts as jobs are filled. Yet another reason their county is better than ours. But I digress...
I was never an optimistic person so from the jump, I figured my teammates would get transferred even though I was ready to get out as soon as I got there. It looks like we will all be there so I'm not getting any kind of shakeup.
I began to wonder what God has planned for me. Why can't I get out? My resume shows my experience and work ethic and I have great references. This place has taken me places even moving across the world to teach didn't take me. I cried when I found out I would be staying. But for about two weeks I've been kind of, sort of, maybe thinking that I should stay. The kids need me. The social work side of me wants to be there for them. I will never know the pain they go through behind closed doors but it HAS to be something for them to act the way they do. And even though I can't outweigh those things they don't have a vocabulary for, I can understand that it is so much that they need a mix of tough boundaries and a soft voice. They need to let go and explode to get the anger and the pain out. And when they come back tomorrow, I can give them the same love and smile as the day before. I see them softening. And if I'm honest, they have softened me. That love and smile was always there but it wasn't sincere (you showed your @$$ yesterday!). Now it is and understand that they need my peace even if they don't know how to ask for it.
I requested a transfer AND interviewed in a neighboring county. I even had an in (maybe) with a Teacher of the Year at a pretty good school that was about 15 mins from my house and brand new. I was hopeful but never too excited. May 5th is the last day to hear back and my district doesn't prioritize updating parts of their webpage so no job updates. Meanwhile, I know where I stand with the other county because they update their job posts as jobs are filled. Yet another reason their county is better than ours. But I digress...
I was never an optimistic person so from the jump, I figured my teammates would get transferred even though I was ready to get out as soon as I got there. It looks like we will all be there so I'm not getting any kind of shakeup.
I began to wonder what God has planned for me. Why can't I get out? My resume shows my experience and work ethic and I have great references. This place has taken me places even moving across the world to teach didn't take me. I cried when I found out I would be staying. But for about two weeks I've been kind of, sort of, maybe thinking that I should stay. The kids need me. The social work side of me wants to be there for them. I will never know the pain they go through behind closed doors but it HAS to be something for them to act the way they do. And even though I can't outweigh those things they don't have a vocabulary for, I can understand that it is so much that they need a mix of tough boundaries and a soft voice. They need to let go and explode to get the anger and the pain out. And when they come back tomorrow, I can give them the same love and smile as the day before. I see them softening. And if I'm honest, they have softened me. That love and smile was always there but it wasn't sincere (you showed your @$$ yesterday!). Now it is and understand that they need my peace even if they don't know how to ask for it.
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