Former Expat Teacher Acclimating to the American Way!

Today I felt guilty for getting an email letting me know there are openings at one of the best schools in my city. I've not interviewed but felt the guilt just the same. But why? Because it isn't fair for me to remain in a situation where I am not growing, where I am barely functioning this year, and possibly having the value of my resume go down if I stay at a "failing school". I know those kids need my smilling face, the free hugs, and words of encouragement. Even the ones who _________________ and burn my noodle! Those parents need my dedication (even in my imperfections). They deserve a teacher who loves her job and the children she serves without distinction between them for socioeconomic reasons. What they never tell you in college: Teaching is abusive.

Transfer time. I requested a transfer AND interviewed in a neighboring county. I even had an in (maybe) with a Teacher of the Year at a pretty good school that was about 15 mins from my house and brand new. I was hopeful but never too excited. May 5th is the last day to hear back and my district doesn't prioritize updating parts of their webpage so no job updates. Meanwhile, I know where I stand with the other county because they update their job posts as jobs are filled. Yet another reason their county is better than ours. But I digress... I was never an optimistic person so from the jump, I figured my teammates would get transferred even though I was ready to get out as soon as I got there. It looks like we will all be there so I'm not getting any kind of shakeup. I began to wonder what God has planned for me. Why can't I get out? My resume shows my experience and work ethic and I have great references. This place has taken me places even moving across the world to te...

I’ve never been happier to be on a break. I had a migraine a few weeks ago that put me down and I have been overwhelmed with finding out I have executive functioning deficits and everything about me says I have ADD. And it’s not like I haven’t thought this before but I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t have the time to compensate for it so I spend so much of my time redoing things, getting back to old lists, and cleaning up all the mess I’ve left in my wake. If I don’t get some help with this soon, I don’t foresee this year turning around for me to the point where I feel like I’ve done a great job with the kids and that’s disappointing. In the meantime, I’m relaxing and starting to feel like I will be ok. One more Sunday without the stress of prepping and I think I’ll be ok!

I admit it. I'm 39 and the other week I had my first case of Monday blues. I was over it. Everything. I found myself looking at everyone I encountered who seemed to have a normal 9-5 and wondered if I could work in an office or do what my brain tells me is a mundane job. I was miserable for a considerable amount of that day and I can't figure out how someone could live their whole life like that! I could't live waiting for Friday and dreading Mondays! My problem is that I love my job. Well, actually, I love my career. I loved my job in Pre-k (some 8.5 years ago). The problem is the pay. And I can't even lie. I (we) have it a LOT better than some teachers in other states. My heart goes out to them because I don't know what I would do in their situation. Actually, I left the country for pay so I guess I DO know what I would do. To be more specific- I was willing to pack up, sell my things, HELL, give away my DOG, to have a better life. It shouldn't be this way. ...

Just thinking about the simplicity of life while I was away. Half of me wishes I could go back to those times and that's not even me.  And this,too, shall pass.

There were times when I taught overseas that I thought I wasn't going to make it and I was at a good school. Sometimes, you get tired of foolishness, lack of communication, seeing people being singled out in unprofessional ways, and seeing people being judged on their teaching skills when you know their interaction in classroom has been sporadic and/or their recommendations aren't necessarily sound. So, imagine my dismay when I realized that I'm in a very similar situation now. I noticed confused looks on new teacher's faces as we walked around wondering when we would be sat down and talked to about policies and procedures. Instead, we were told to ask our teammate. Fine. But if I didn't know something I should have, I felt like I was a snitch because they'd ask who you went to for help. I have to work with these people for a year. I'm good on that. Once I realized the situation I was in, I buckled down and got my room together as best I could with what...

It has been so long since I've written here that I couldn't remember the name of my blog since I changed it. It isn't that I haven't wanted to write. Unfortunately, I had so much to do for most of this school year that blogging was the furthest thing from my mind. I didn't start feeling more like a human until school was coming to an end. Over the past couple weeks I have REALLY been feeling like a human-I finally unpacked my office and put everything away, the reading room is set up, and I am able to read and I am stress free! BUT...and there has to be a but with the title, no? The but is that this may be short lived. As much as I try to prepare for the upcoming year, I know that I work in a high stress environment (although it doesn't have to be that way). I want and need better this time around and plan on being proactive in that regard starting with putting down the phone and doing productive things! But on to this list. Because last week marked my ON...

I lost my voice this week. That also means I did not meet my deadline for testing. Que scary music. My name must be on so me list now. Common sense would say that I am excused for lack of a voice but who knows. I came home today and enjoyed my family along with some good food. Work can and will wait until tomorrow. Is it sad that my daydreams consist of being in pre-k since I know they are still developmentally appropriate?

I have so many posts in my head. I still remember the day I got off the plane and went looking for a car because it was Sunday and I didn't want to be bothered with sales people...It's only been about 3 months-I should remember everything. The problem is that I'm SO BUSY. Half the time I feel like I am chasing my tail. I go from worry to doubt and frustration and a bit of anger. Once, I sat down to do my weekend work and cried before my piles of paper. Shortly after, I pulled myself together and got on with my work. I worry because for the past 7 years I have been teaching ESL students with little to no English language. It was an adjustment but I ended up doing really well. Here, I feel like I've stepped on a bullet train and I'm not used to going this fast. Meanwhile, I know that there is no time for me to pull it together and get in the groove. Sometimes, I go to sleep thinking about how I'm letting my kids down and how I will look terrible, and how they...

You have options. All of which probably suck for different reasons. While driving my car, I prayed she would be ok until the end. With great purpose, I bought a very affordable (AKA cheap) car and enjoyed many years of having no car payment. That is another post for another day (probably not). So  yeah, this cheap car had 164,000 miles on her when the time came. Add to that, it was a small hatchback with some cosmetic issues. Knowing these things I priced her low. Not low enough to not be low balled even further. I found this random site and posted the car with pictures. Calls started pouring in around 8 pm and didn't stop til after midnight. I. Kid. You. Not. Offers were thousands lower than I asked, people called who couldn't speak English, and I was growing weary of answering my phone after the second day of this. As with moving out of your apartment, you have options. Sites like  Dubizzle , Facebook, or sellanycar.com  can work for you. I didn't want to pay for D...

Brace yourself. It's coming. Piles of things with nowhere to go and an impending deadline. You have a million things to do so you begin the arduous task of figuring out what to keep and what to let go of. In the beginning, it seems easy enough. Maybe you don't have lots of things. In which case, the above picture will never be you. In most cases, however, just get your tissue ready. Or your bottle of libation. Whichever suits your fancy. Let me start with the process of letting things go. Because I am so smart, I began paring down months ago. It felt good and I was so proud of myself for being on top of things. After that, I began to walk around my house and think about what I would post things for when the time came. I decided I didn't want the hassle of bargaining so I would post things for a ridiculous price. Satisfied that I had time, I continued on with daily life. Fast forward some months and we get the paper work. It is so confusing that I set it aside a...

Last week I turned the key and entered my home from a vacation for the last time. I realized that I will miss my apartment. Who wouldn't? We have an amazing place when you think about it. Even if I dont use all the amenities, it is nice to have and I enjoy looking out the window each and every day! Going home was a success. Taking things home will,no doubt, reduce the stress of packing in the coming months. A RT ticket for 365 was a steal to say the least. Worth such a quick turnaround! Now comes the last term. It will be over before we blink an eye as Ramadan comes earlier each year. We are trying our best to condense the learning outcomes and lessons so we impart upon their little brains the basics and pray they retain it over the summer! Ive been here so long Im not even concerned about selling all our things. Im sure some of them will sell but everything else will be donated. I dont have the propensity to concern myself with it. I only wish it was easier to find someone...

As I try to prepare for my impending return home, I find that I am more nervous than when I left. Not because of any political issues that are going on at home-not that those things help the situation. I feel it is because so much has changed in the world of education. Even when I was at home, I was in a Pre-K program and under a different set of rules. Stringent nonetheless I might add.  Being that I left before moving up, I am afraid I am at a disadvantage. I talk to other teachers who point out some of my strengths. It makes me feel better and I am reminded that I shouldn't sell myself short. It is a very bad habit I have yet to leave behind. It takes a lot of a person to stay here for 7 years and to actually work and make a difference. I can honestly say that I haven't had a year where I didn't do either of those things and for that I am proud. It takes skill to get children with little to no English to be able to work in a classroom setting and be successful and exc...

I was thinking of my kids this year and am just so appreciative of the children the parents nurtured and sent to us this cohort. I just might cry this graduation, rotfl. Not sure if I wrote of the embarrassment that was my very first graduation. Im sure that I did! That was a result of all the hard work I put in to make that class manageable with no prior school, A co-teacher for a few months before she left, and maybe 5 Arabic words WITH 25 kids in a barren room. I wish I had pictures and video from that year! But this? This is the exact opposite. These kids came in with curiosity. They went to centers from day one with little direction from us AND they didn't destroy them. With the help of my amazing co-teacher, we have an amazing class. I am thoroughly enjoying their level of comprehension, their ability to laugh and talk with me even if we aren't speaking the same language, and the fact that they have a good grasp on the language to the point where their simple English m...

I find myself daydreaming of America. In spite of her current situation,  there are people there who I miss and will enjoy spending time with more than I would like staying away from the craziness. Im from a town of 30,000 people. I want to go and pick fruit/vegetables with my aunt and grandmother. I want to sit on back porches enjoying wine/tea/cocktails/grilled food and music. I want to drive on streets that lack crazy drivers and beeping horns. I want to let my windows down in a car that isn't so compact that I feel like Im driving a go-cart. I want to go to any store with the confidence that what I am looking for will be there and it wont cost me triple what it is really worth. I want to feel like I would get help in public if there were some emergency that warranted stranger intervention (God forbid). I want a buffet that doesn't cost 100 dollars. I want to hear rain and participate in layering my clothes without burning up. I want to wear shorts without feeling naked. ...

I never realized how much I would love seeing new places. I mean, I had an idea and its not like this summer is my first time traveling but it was just made more evident just because of how beautiful this world is. To finally experience it. In one word-amazing. The air, the people, the atmosphere. Nothing compares. Thank God I no longer have a fear of flying. I still go to sleep if its more than a few hours but if I have to stay awake, no heart palpitations. Im going to update my list of places I want to visit because I have places to add and I have some repeats thanks to that cruise (smh). In the meantime, I will be finishing my book,  The Millionaire Teacher , and Im planning on budgeting so that I can continue to travel in some capacity.

I refreshed a couple times thinking "surely Dec 2015 isn't the last time Ive posted!". Seems that every year I seem to suck a little more at keeping track. Honestly, though, the longer you stay in a place, the less there is to write about. Unless you're willing to part ways with your dirhams I guess,lol. This year? This year was great in terms of work. Parents participated. Kids worked well and I even had a small group of readers in KG1!!!  The Arabic teachers were on board with things we have been trying to initiate for years and we got an amazing score at our school from the powers that be. It made me think about how a single person or a small group works to make change...how much does that change affect the bigger picture? I won't go into my conclusion because that will change the tone of my entire post. Let's just stick with the fact that being able to see change in our school is always a pleasure. I've already convinced myself that when I  blink ...

I've not taught long enough to be burned out. Honestly, I hope it never comes to that point. I love what I do, I am adamant on the fact that the children need to see someone who they can relate to-someone who looks like them. While we all want to sing Kumbaya and people want us to "all be the same", that really does a disservice to the children who are all unique and different. I'd be blind not to see that leaving a system so many teachers are growing to despise may have a lot to do with me not tuckering out yet. I taught for two years at home before coming here so Im 7 years in and working on year 8 now. I have days where I feel guilty for not being at home. But the truth is that I need to take care of myself so that I can take care of those little ones that I hold dear to my heart. Don't get me wrong. I hold these little ones dear to my heart as well. I keep their pictures. We laugh and play together. It's something so sweet when there are students I ca...

It's been a semester of school and I haven't come here once. Shame on me! Guess Ill do an overview of the year thus far. I'm back in KG1. The place most teachers cringe at because they come.in.CRAZY! screaming for mom, seriously believing we are there to kill them-no joke.  But this year was a bit different. The parents came in speaking more English and the children were a bit odd. And I mean that in the best way possible. Yeah, we had some cryers and others who weren't quite sure about this place mom just brought them to without explaining to them that it wasn't a death sentence,lol. They actually went to centers and used the material. I was astonished and proud and excited. It was literally a joy to watch. While other classes were still setting items out on the tables, our kids were wandering through the classroom, talking to each other, using the centers like we had taught them what to do! The only problem with that is when I would prefer for them to stay at the...

Its been forever, I know. It's a wonder I've updated for this long. Life gets monotonous and there is nothing to post aside from a few complaints or surprises.  The (not so) recent move was, at first, a minor irritant and a reason to spend money I would have preferred to keep in my pocket. It turned out to fulfill my secret wishes though and I am so happy that we were able to  had to move! Basically, we lost a room. Well, we also lost half of what was already a small kitchen but it is open so we have a bar. We were also losing storage space and I spent months mentally preparing for this  change. Funny because I toyed with, even romanticizing, the idea of having a smaller space when I was convinced we were going to move to South Korea or Shanghai. In real life, I was walking from room to room, trying to decide what wasn't going to make the cut and it was driving me CRAZY! Some things were an easy choice. Other things, not so much. It was a bit cathartic at times and n...